Why 15 year olds should KEEP OFF the Internet
Throughout my political career, I've often stood up and helped protect the children. I've protected children from filthy movies, obscene music, and violent video games. No matter the medium, I've helped shelter our children from it. But now is the time to start protecting our children from the Internet. Because the Internet is warping our kids' brains.
Ava Lowery, a 15 year old girl from Alabama, has become famous for her anti-war animations on her website, Peace Takes Courage. Now if that weren't bad enough, her most recent creation does the most unspeakable thing: it attacks me! You can watch it here, if you can stomach it.
It's clear from watching her animations that Ava is too immature to handle exposure to the Internet. None of our precious, impressionable young people are. Therefore, I will propose new legislation in the Senate next week that prohibits anyone under the age of 21 from accessing the Internet in any way. As a society, we've determined that people under 21 are not capable of handling alcohol. Well, let me be the first one to tell you that the Internet is much more dangerous than alcohol ever was. If put into the wrong hands, the power of the Internet can do much damage. We as a society certianly do not want that.