Sunday, July 16, 2006

In Bed with Big Pharma

SEXY MAMAIn politics, you'll often hear the term "in bed" bandied about with a negative connotation. Like, "You're in bed with the oil industry!" or "He's in bed with the gun lobby!". It's never happened to me before, because I'm a good, honest, and decent man (John McCain says so!) that can't be bought off by monied interests. But this time it's different. This time I can't escape the cold, hard facts...

I'm in bed with Big Pharma.

Yes, it's true. My wife, Hadassah, works as a lobbyist for the pharmaceutical industry. She started working for the lobbying firm Hill & Knowlton last year. Hill & Knowlton, who used to work on behalf of the tobacco industry fighting the truthinistas that claimed cigarettes caused cancer, hired her as a “senior counselor” in its “health and pharmaceuticals practice". Just one month after she was hired, I introduced a bill that would give Big Pharma billions in new government "incentives" to produce more flu vaccines. The New Haven Register called my bill a "blank check" to the pharmaceutical industry for "what may be an uncertain or dubious
return."

I know it's wrong. But when Hadassah is lying in bed, wearing that sexy black silk nightie that I really like, it's hard to say no to handouts for Merck and Pfizer. When she's in the hot tub, with the lights turned low and a 'come hither' look in her eyes, I'm not really in a good position to turn down patent extensions for GalaxoSmithKline. Some guys buy flowers or jewelry to get in the good graces of their significant other. In my case, all I have to do is divert large chunks of taxpayer cash into the pockets of multinational corporations.

But I do it for the right reasons. I do it for love.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is pretty sick. Fanaticism in politics is as bad on the left as it is on the right. Leave out the bedroom stuff and grow up. You can make your point in a straightforward way.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

Um, the bedroom stuff? To me the post is perfect. "In bed with" as metaphor and quite literally. It's not like Joe is going on about the details of a blowjob or evidence in the form of a blue dress.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

war on drugs??
Joe don't know--
devorce tyme

10:16 AM  

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